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One of the world’s greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, “Take it easy. You’ll find it.”

When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn’t find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, “I’m sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it.”

“You’re very kind,” the professor said, “but I must find it, otherwise I won’t know where to get off.”
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Office Jokes
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he National Science Foundation announced the following study results on corporate America recreation preferences:

1. Sport of choice for maintenance level employees: BOWLING

2. Sport of choice for front line workers: FOOTBALL

3. Sport of choice for supervisors: BASEBALL

4. Sport of choice for middle management: TENNIS

5. Sport of choice for corporate officers: GOLF

CONCLUSION: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls.
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A young executive was leaving the office of a major corporation late one evening when he found the CEO himself standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. 
Eager to make a good impression, the young exec introduced himself and asked if he could be of any help. 
"Why yes," said the CEO, holding up the piece of paper. "This is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?" 
"Certainly," said the young executive, happy for a chance to help the boss. The young man turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. 
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I'll need two copies."
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he new manager walks into his office and, while settling into his new desk, finds 4 envelopes. On one he finds the words "open me first," and the other three are numbered 1 to 3. 
He opens the first envelope and finds a letter from his predecessor saying: "These three envelopes will save you a world of trouble. In case of emergency, please open these envelopes in sequential order; envelope one first, envelope two second, and envelope three third." 
The manager shrugs, puts the envelopes back, and forgets about them. 
Six months later, the workers go on strike. The company closes, and is losing money fast. 
After a long night negotiating with the union, he remembers the 3 envelopes. So he opens the first one and it says: "Blame me, your predecessor for every thing". 
Wonderful idea he thinks, and indeed it works and the crisis comes to its end. His job is saved, and everybody's happy. 
A few month later, another strike hits. He goes to the drawer and opens the second envelope. It reads, "Blame the government for everything". 
It works like a charm, and he breathes a sigh of relief as his job is, once again, saved. 
A month later the workers declare another strike. The manager goes directly to the third envelope and it reads, "Prepare 4 new envelopes"
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